(The following is

Titus 2 for Life Satire)

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How you can instruct your daughter

in the ways of folly...

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Do everything for her and don't expect her to help around the house.

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Get her involved in every possible activity, club, and organization so she can keep up with her friends and not be left out.

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Teach her to be aggressive and always prepared to one-up the boys.

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Raise your daughter's confidence by making her the center of attention.

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Make sure that everything you do with her is fun; hang out together and be like sisters.

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Don't correct her when she makes a mistake because you might hurt her feelings and risk your friendship.

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Shield her from disappointments, hardships, and the consequences of poor choices.

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Give your daughter unlimited time and privacy in her room away from the family with her laptop, ipad and smartphone.

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Don't ask her to go with you to visit relatives or church members in the hospital or nursing home because that's not much fun for a young girl.

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Don't encourage her to do acts of service for other people unless, of course, she's getting extra credit for a class project because that will look good when she applies for a scholarship.

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Let her interrupt whenever she has something to say because it's probably important to her.

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And there's more...

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Make sure that she has subscriptions to the most popular magazines for girls because she'll earn a lot about sensuality and sex appeal, the latest fads and fashions, how to get a man's attention, and what all the famous people are doing.

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Better yet, encourage her to visit Planned Parenthood's website for teens.

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Raise your daughter's self-esteem by telling everyone how beautiful she is and buying her all the pretty clothes you didn't have.

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Don't bother teaching her etiquette and good manners because it's acceptable in this culture to be more casual and laid back.

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Keep reminding her about all the things you've had to give up to be a stay-at-home mom.

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Be quiet when the voices of the world tempt your daughter to believe that she can have it all.

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Remind your daughter that men should be self-controlled, but it's ok for her to freely express her emotions so that everyone will know how she feels.

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Be gone from home as much as possible because you wouldn't want her to think that anything really important happens there.

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Help your daughter develop a critical spirit by allowing one of your own.

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Show her how to help men by quickly taking charge whenever you think your husband isn't doing something good enough.

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Teach her that women have to put men down in order to build themselves up.

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Be sure to share a wink-wink and laugh with your daughter whenever watching a TV ad that makes men look like idiots.

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Let her think that marriage is always a 50/50 partnership.

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Don't let her catch you practicing patience, kindness, or selflessness with your husband lest she think you too submissive.

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When her father sets boundaries for her clothing or behavior, find ways to help her undermine his authority.

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Be intimated by the culture and embarrassed by your vocations of wife, mother, and homemaker.

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Neglect using the mentoring model of Titus 2:3-5.

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Make family meal time less of a hassle for your daughter by serving buffet style and letting her take it to her room.

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Make sure that your daughter is skilled in everything except the art of making a home.

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Encourage your daughter to meet her friends at the local coffee house rather than welcoming them into your house.

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If at all possible, don't stay home to raise your children but, instead, entrust them to experts who will raise them better than you ever could.

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If you are a single mom, let your boyfriend move in with you so your daughter will have a father figure.

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Assure your daughter that she can always get married, be a mom, and make a home after she's done everything else.

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